There comes a point in most marriages when sex is naught but a distant memory. But it should not be. Many couples enjoy regular and frequent sex well into their old age.
Comedians have made a mint off the human condition, and interpersonal relationships seem to be one of the most oft-mined sources of material. We love to laugh at the misfortunes of the abstract other. Perhaps because it makes us feel less alone in our starvation.
What can be done? Aside from the lack of affection in your life, how can you know when she has lost interest and decided that your touch is no longer welcome… that her body is no longer your temple?
Some might say that it is when she begins sleeping with her back to you, while others might posit that it begins when you bring a television into the bedroom. I had one friend who believed it all started when she began wearing pants to bed (pajama pants, sweat pants, leggings, anything like that). Yet another friend suspected the end of his sex life occurred when she began coming to bed well after he was asleep. His theory was that she was avoiding him.
An big possibility is when, early in the first few years of marriage, she puts her foot down and tells you ‘You can leave me if you want to, but I am done having sex all the time.’ Many would get stuck on this as the obvious choice. But I’m not so sure. This occurrence, if it happens in your life, is something that can be gotten around. Sex is far too important to the continued functioning of a healthy marriage (at least in the early stages). You must be willing to call her bluff and walk out that door without a single look back if you want to have any substance to your sex life with this woman.
So which is it? I’ve always thought the sweat pants were a good one. They do seem to be an accurate predictor of whether she will allow you to touch her. But someone else once pointed out the pillow… Does she sleep curled up in an almost fetal position around a pillow?
After much pondering on the matter, I glimpsed back through history with an eye for subtle changes, and I think I’ve stumbled upon it. All these things that I’ve referenced above, are merely the definitive, final manifestation. You must go back to the beginning.
The moment when she says something like ‘can we not cuddle while we’re sleeping? That makes me sweaty. Let’s instead sleep with just a toe touching each other so I’ll know you’re there.’ THAT gentlemen, is the first step in pushing you away from her, and limiting your access to sex.
Dick Bucket
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